Wednesday, September 14, 2011

What's your pain?

I picked up the phone today to connect or network with a fabulous lady and successful business owner of she said something Epic to me at least and I feel it’s worthy of sharing.

We were talking about health and fitness and what it is that is blocking our clients and sometimes ourselves from achieving our desired fitness levels. What is causing the self destructive behaviours that block us from greatness such as: over-eating, over-drinking, over-anything that works in numbing us out.

Pain! What's your pain? Not the one in your knee or your back or your backside; but the one in your heart? That pain untouched, not healed or not shared will continue to cause the unhealthy self-sabotage that many of us are afflicted with.

My pain is still loss and grief. In the last decade I've lost my mom at 63 after two leg amputations, my dad 6 months later to heart attack at the age of 66 and my mother-in-law who passed three weeks later from cancer. They all missed the birth of our first son by 6 months. Just when I got a little bit of balance and what I thought a grip on parenting I was diagnosed with postpartum depression. I was treated for depression but I believe it was unresolved or repressed grief.

After that next dark valley came the most unexpected and sudden loss when my baby sister dropped dead at 42 years old from a massive brain aneurysm. My bottom fell out. I have never experienced such earth shattering pain. I really thought I had experienced walking through loss until this loss. I had done multiple grief groups and counseling all good work but the loss of Catherine had me completely derailed for a good six months.

All I knew is I had to fake it for my kids and I had to keep on the path of health and wellness. I continued to teach (all the while faking joy) and yet was inspired by others wanting to change their lives and my sister was all over that. So I continue and will continue to trudge along this journey and while I've come out that dark tunnel and see sunshine again, when I experience those valleys of emotions or if I'm up late eating junk I try to pause as those are my signals to share with others my pain. Even if my head and heart aren’t connecting what's going on my negative behaviours are my signals that something is going on and usually if I talk it comes out.

A burden shared is a burden halved. I keep teaching, moving, sharing, motivating and educating so I (we) can share abundant health. So go move and be grateful for your body regardless of the shape. Remember wellness starts in our heart, then our mind, and then by moving and healthy eating. I wish you abundance.

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